29 May Kidnapped (Eph 6:1-4) [Part 2]
If you don’t believe this culture is crazy, I have three words that will change your mind…Lady Ga-Ga! If you don’t know who she is, you are not missing anything but if you do, you know this culture is crazy!
Last week we shared with you our text scriptures from Ephesians 6:1-4:
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honor thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise: That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”
We also began “6 Righteous Reasons to Rescue your Child”:
- Teach your child to know the Father God and not just their mother church (Is. 54:13).
This week let’s continue…
One of the best ways that I have discovered to help your child to be taught of the Lord is what I call the “3 Levels of Learning”:
- Precept
- Principle
- Person
Please allow me to explain. One of the Ten Commandments is “Thou shalt not lie.” Everyone knows this. This is a Precept that is true but if this is all you teach your child, you are inadvertently teaching your child legalism. Remember the purpose of the law…it was designed to show you that you are a sinner and you can’t do it (see Romans 3:20, 5:20). Therefore “thou shalt not” all by itself will only lead a kid to a frustrated, ineffective form of Christianity. It is here we must advance to our next level of learning, Principle!
Principle goes farther than “thou shalt not”. It takes us to a greater understanding of the “why” behind the what. Here I teach my child the reason you shouldn’t lie is because it breaks down trust and relationship. Have you ever met someone who you couldn’t believe even if their tongue came notarized?! You can’t have a relationship with them as you can’t believe anything that comes out of their mouth! Therefore it is not just “thou shalt not” but now I understand when I lie, it breaks down trust and relationship. I must now speak the truth in love (see Eph. 4:15). You can’t do a negative but you can do a positive!
Now we are getting somewhere, but we aren’t there yet! We have gone from Precept to Principle, but let’s go to the third level of learning, Person.
When I am training my 8-year old son, Johnathan, I’ll ask him “Why do we speak the truth in love, son?” He will always reply something like, “Because Jesus is the Truth and He is in me.” In other words, I don’t lie because it breaks down trust and relationship, but I do speak the truth because Jesus IS THE TRUTH and I have a relationship with Him! That’s what it means to be “taught of the Lord”!
Now when your child is in college and you aren’t around, and all his professors are telling him all the ‘isms’ that go with academia (humanism, evolutionism, etc. etc), he stays with his God because he has a relationship with his God…not just yours! He has an innate sense of borders because he has a relationship with a PERSON…Jesus Christ!
- Parents must assume the role of leaders (Prov. 22:6).
I am a fun daddy! I work primarily out of the home and my wife home schools John in a conference room at church. I will be working or studying and hear them returning home. Many times I will hide and John gets excited as he tries to find me upon his return home. We also have a foyer where I can see him from the top floor. I will take toilet paper and wet sheets of it down, and then throw wet balls of toilet paper at John from above…then the fight is on! His mommy is not always happy about it, but I am a fun daddy! I have decided to make our house a fun, loving place!
However, there are times when we must step up to the plate and be a parent. There are times when I will take off my buddy hat and put on my parent hat, because John needs a parent more than he needs a friend! I have made a quality determination that if necessary, for short periods of time, John may not always like me! There must be someone in his life who can say “no” to him when it is in his best interest (it certainly won’t be his grandma)!
Many times we struggle over this as we desire our child’s approval, particularly if you are a single parent. No one wants to be the “mean parent” (particularly if your “ex-spouse” is letting your child get away with murder). However, we must not try to get our security or affirmation from our child, but from our Lord. From knowing His love for us and who we are in Christ, we must derive our security, affection, worth and value! Make a quality decision that you are going to do what’s right even if you temporarily lose your child’s approval…but long-term you will gain a man or woman of God!
- Understand the two sides of discipline (Prov. 29:15).
No one enjoys disciplining their children unless there is something very wrong with them! Notice I said “disciplining” not “punishment”.
Punishment is what you do to criminals, but discipline is what you do for your children.
There are two very different yet complimentary sides of discipline, and for it to be effective you must use both sides. Proverbs 29:15 says, “The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.”
Compare this with our New Testament scripture in Ephesians 6:1-4 that tells us we are to bring our children up in the “nurture” and “admonition” of the Lord.
- Nurture is controlled child training by act.
- Admonition means to “place in mind”
Now let’s put both Old and New Testament together:
1. Rod = nurture = physically controlled pain (i.e. biblical spanking)
2. Reproof = admonition = verbal instruction
You need both! I know of many parents who simply spank because “My daddy whipped me with a belt and look how I turned out.” “If it was good enough for me, it’s good enough for you.” This is completely un-biblical and ineffective when not accompanied by reproof and admonition.
I also know of lots of parents who are big talkers with no consequences. You’ve seen them…they’ll say, “If you do that one more time I’ll…”. “Don’t do that!” “I said don’t do that!” They tell their child the same thing five different times, each time with a higher voice inflection but each time with no pursuant consequences.
“Yes, but Pastor, I was watching Dr. I. Donknownothin on television and he said I should not spank my children.” First, I have a choice…I can believe God’s Word or Dr. I. Donknownothin. Second, the Bible doesn’t just say spank, it says the rod AND reproof.
Next week we’ll continue our series and I’ll tell you why!