19 Jun Kidnapped (Eph. 6:1-4) [Part 5]
There are a lot of crazy things occurring in this culture! The Bible tells us in the last days there will come a culture that calls good, evil…and evil, good (see Isaiah 5:20)!
Recently I saw a prime example of this. To my chagrin, I discovered that a private Catholic college was being sued because a group of Muslims had no place to “worship” at this private Catholic college. In the lawsuit, they complained that they had no place to go without having to see Christian imagery (such as the cross and pictures of Jesus) in this private Catholic college. Once again, political correctness run amuck! We live in a crazy culture!
Over the last number of weeks, I’ve shared with you our key scripture from Ephesians 6:1-4: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honor thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise: That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”
We also began “6 Righteous Reasons to Rescue Your Child:”
- Teach your child to know the Father God and not just their mother church (Is. 54:13).
- Parents must assume the role of leader (Prov. 22:6).
- Understand the two sides of discipline (Prov. 29:15).
- Love is revealed through involvement (Heb. 12:1-12).
- Trust and verify (Prov. 22:15, 14:15).
This week let’s pick it back up with “Trust and Verify.” Again, these two powerful scriptures tell us, “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him” (Prov. 22:15) and “The simple believeth every word: but the prudent man looketh well to his going” (Prov. 14:15).
Combine these verses and you understand three things:
- Kids can do some dumb things
- Kids can lie
- Trust and verify
Before I was saved, as a teenager I would drink alcohol like a fish. I was constantly drinking and driving. I remember (barely) one inauspicious night when I had a drinking contest with my high school swim coach. I had consumed 28 beers in one setting and I drove home with my parent’s car! (My mother goes to our church and when I tell these stories, I have to remind her I turned out pretty good…after all, I am her pastor!) My aunt, who was not as emotionally involved with me, would frequently warn my mother that her precious first-born son was a drunk, but my overly-supportive mother (I love you mom!) just wouldn’t hear it! It is only by the grace of God and my mother’s prayers that I am alive to write this story!
While it is so vital that we love, support and believe in our children, it is also equally imperative to trust and verify! The Bible tells us, “He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much: and he that is unjust in the least is unjust also in much. If therefore ye have not been faithful in the unrighteous mammon, who will commit to your trust the true riches? And if ye have not been faithful in that which is another man’s, who shall give you that which is your own?” (Luke 16:10-12).
In other words, our kids must be faithful in the small before we give them greater “rope of responsibility.” We should verify who they are spending time with to see if they hold the same values. I love the local church, it isn’t perfect but it is God’s finest here on this earth! However, people are at all different stages of Christian growth at the local church and therefore, just because they go to your church, doesn’t mean they have your values. Don’t be a spiritual snob or elitist, but when it comes to your children…trust and verify!
While I’m traveling down this road, parents…don’t be afraid to check out your teen’s Facebook page. You have every right and responsibility to not only check out their friends, but to check out their “cyber friends”. They will, of course, scream, “I don’t get any privacy around here!” To which you can calmly reply, “Sure you do…we let you go to the bathroom by yourself.”
While I am, of course, kidding (partially) it is vital that we trust and verify. If our kids prove trustworthy, give them more space. If our kids don’t, reel in the rope.
- Stay engaged in your child’s relationships (Gen. 34:1-31).
We don’t have the space to print all of these verses, but suffice it to say a young man by the name of Shechem (the son of Hamor) raped a girl by the name of Dinah. If you look over this powerful passage of scripture, you can infer that the young man was highly indulged by his parents. Bad things happen when parents aren’t aware of what their kids are doing, and who they are doing it with!
Truly our children don’t need and eventually won’t want indulgent parents. Remember this…it is a recipe for disaster when you give your kids everything they want! When indulgent kids meet uninvolved parents…it’s a recipe for even more disaster!
Our job is to initially protect our kids from the world to eventually point our kids at the world! I like to keep people out of spiritual ditches. Please allow me to share the major parental ditches:
1) Child evangelists. I’ve watched over the years well-meaning parents armed with out of context scriptures trying to make evangelists out of their kids. Therefore they feel justified in sending them into secular situations that are just overwhelming to them. Instead of being salt and light they are overcome by darkness. Remember this…you can’t win from a losing position (Rom. 13:14).
2) Child pioneers. Over the years I have also seen well-meaning parents armed with out of context scriptures, in an effort to protect their children they isolate their children. Now the child can’t relate to anyone but family and becomes so isolated they become self-absorbed (see Prov. 18:1). Both are ditches!
Let me reiterate, our job as parents is to initially protect our kids from the world, to eventually point our kids at the world. It is a delicate balance and one that will require wisdom but well worth that acquisition!
Remember this key principle: Until our children prove to us they are capable of making biblical friends, parents, we should decide who their friends will be! I don’t mean you go and handpick them in some controlling fashion, but I do mean you check the values of their friends and the parental supervision of those friends.
The Bible tells us in Proverbs 13:20, “He that walketh with wise men shall be wise; but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.” Notice the scripture does not say “fools are destroyed” but “the companion of fools” is destroyed. I have seen in 27 years of ministry it is normally not the influencer who is destroyed, it is the influenced. This way the devil can keep the influencer around to influence again and again.
Expose your kids to the “world” at your pace but make sure the goal is to reach the “world” for the cause of Christ. It once again is a delicate balance. Jesus was the friend of sinners (Luke 19:10) but an enemy of the world system (James 4:4). Don’t entertain your kids with who the world system has to offer, but don’t “go Amish” on them either. Wisdom and balance! Wisdom and balance! Wisdom and balance!
If you are at Walmart and simply are living life, and your children see something inappropriate don’t ever react…just make it a teachable moment!
Yes, this is going to take an effort on our part! Yes, we will need all the wisdom we can get. Yes, we will make some mistakes, but yes…our children are worth it! Let’s rescue them from a crazy culture!