23 Apr How to Have an Affair (Stuck and Lovin’ It) Part 4
Many years ago, Anne and I went to preach for a pastor friend of mine in another state. Almost as soon as we arrived in our friend’s house, my pastor friend and his wife got into a shouting match! Here I am the guest speaker and my friend and his wife can’t even control themselves when I’m around! Can you imagine what was happening when no one else was around!
In casual conversation, I asked my friend what he had been preaching lately (a common conversation piece between ministers), and he mentioned some subject matter that was very much “cotton candy”…very fluffy but almost completely void of the substance of God’s Word. I also noticed that he had lost quite a lot of weight and was spending much time working out. All the tell-tale signs were there. Just a few days after Anne and I returned home, I called my friend at his church. One of the elders answered and sadly informed me that my pastor friend admitted to having an affair. This was devastating to this pastor’s family, to the church he pastored and of course, to his personal life. This is designed by the enemy to destroy the “precious life” (see Proverbs 6:26).
Over the last number of weeks, we began to examine the process of having an affair. I believe as we see this “snowball” roll down the hill, we can stop its momentum and strengthen our marriage (II Cor. 2:11)!
12 Actions to Ascertain an Affair:
- Drift in your walk with God (Lk 10:38-42).
- Think it can never happen to you (I Cor. 10:12).
- Allow a little marital drift (Rev. 2:5).
- Allow attractive to become attraction (Job 31:1).
This week, let’s continue…
- Compare your spouse with another (II Cor. 10:12).
That means the woman at your church or in your office both have one thing in common…they are usually dressed in their best clothes and on their best behavior. The girlfriend you used to have 22 years ago in high school is no longer 18…she’s 40 and so are you! That picture in your sports magazine or the one that pops up on your computer screen are both air brushed! In other words, it is totally unfair to compare your spouse with another person!
If you’ve been married for any length of time, you know your spouse’s “warts”. You’ve probably seen your spouse’s “not tonight” wardrobe (you know, the big fluffy pink bathrobe and slippers or the pit-stained undershirt and bermuda shorts)! You have probably even seen your spouse throw up…not a pretty sight. However, all of these things are a part of the reality and commitment of marriage.
Not too long ago, I heard about a university president whose wife had a severe case of Alzheimer’s. She no longer even knew who her husband was. He was at the height of his career but decided to retire to take care of his wife. His colleague urged him not to do this, “Put her in a home, let someone else care for her.” Yet this noble man could not be dissuaded. “In our wedding vows we said for better or for worse, she may no longer understand these…but I do.”
In a recent survey of people who have had extra-marital affairs, when asked, said that they like about 80% of what their spouse has to offer. However they leave their spouse for the 20% of what their spouse does not have. Of course, over time all of us have our “20%” just waiting to be discovered! Remember this, the grass is always greener on the other side…until you have to mow it!
Next week we’ll continue this series and tell you how to be “Stuck and Loving it!”